Until a few days ago, if you'd Googled for "failure" or "miserable failure", the first result you got would have been the US president's page on the White House website. This was accomplished by a technique called Googlebombing, and was acknowledged by Google as being a vulnerability in their search system. They also did not manually filter these results out in the interest of maintaining the objectivity of their search service.

A few days ago though, Google put in place a change that gets around Googlebombing.

By improving our analysis of the link structure of the web, Google has begun minimizing the impact of many Googlebombs

Searching for a Googlebombed term now gets you information about Googlebombing instead. Read this post on the Google Webmaster Central Blog for more details.

Hope you all did something nice today. The only thing I did, was forget that it was my aunt's birthday.

I came across an interesting post from the Telegraph, by a Briton who lives in India, about the difference between the ways India, the US and UK each handle terrorism. Irrespective of whether you agree with the article about whether India's position on terrorism is by design, it should make at least make you think, "Yeah, that's my India".

A quote from the piece -

To my mind, however, the single biggest thing Britain and America could learn from India about terrorism is to be considerably more resilient and defiant about it.

When the bombers strike Bombay or New Delhi or Varanasi - as they have with devastating effect in the last 18 months, killing nearly 300 people - India doesn't flinch.

Jai Hind.

Once more an entire month has gone by without new posts on this blog. To those of you who still read this blog, I apologize for the delay. I'd blame it on lack of time and writer's block, but that won't really make up for the lack of posts, will it?
Anyway. On with the post.

The Kala Ghoda Arts Festival is back this year, and Caferati is hosting some contests again, just like last time. I hope to participate in the Flash Fiction contest this year too, though I don't really have any realistic expectation of winning, or even making the shortlist. I want to write at least one story, if not two, if for no other reason than to have something to post on this blog.

The Graphic Flash (flash fiction in a graphic format) and Poetry Slam contests both sound really interesting. Do check them out.

And if you're cell-phone happy, you might want to try SMS Poetry.

The deadline for all the contests, is Feb 4 2007, so get off that block right now. (And if you do, let me know how you did it!)

First: Celestial Conversation
Previous: Till Debt Do Us Part: Celestial Conversations - XXV

God: Hello?
Me: Hi!
God: Hello.
Me: It's been so long since we chatted!
God: Yes, I've been busy.
Me: Busy?
God: Yes, I've been doing two jobs.
Me: Two jobs?
God: Yes. Luci went on a long vacation and asked Me to take care of stuff at Hell while he was away.
Me: Oh. Until when do you have to do this?
God: Until Hell freezes over.
Me: What?! But that's never going to happen!
God: Of course it is. It'll only be another couple of weeks at the most.
Me: Really?
God: Yes. Luci hasn't paid the heating bills in years.
Me: Oh. Well how has it been, doing two jobs?
God: Oh being in charge of Hell is no big deal. All the chaps there are pretty well-behaved. It's the commute that's killing me.
Me: Really? How far do you need to travel?
God: Half around the world, at one time. Then I decided to move Heaven to Texas.
Me: Oh. Where's Hell?
God: Manhattan.
Me: What?! How can The Devil afford the rent?
God: Simple. He doesn't pay the rent. As The Devil, he can get away with it.
Me: Right. So what did you do for Christmas?
God: Oh, We gave Jesus a surprise party.
Me: Really?
God: Yeah. The guys over in Hell came up with the idea.
Me: Where was the party?
God: Hell's Kitchen.
Me: Makes sense. But you do know that Jesus wasn't actually born on Christmas day, don't you?
God: He wasn't?
Me: No. No one actually remembers when Jesus was really born. Some people think He was born in the summer.
God: Oh. Well, would you mind not mentioning that to him?
Me: Okay. But why?
God: Would you be thrilled to know that no one in the world could remember your birthday?
Me: I guess not. Well Merry Christmas to You, in any case.
God: Yes. And a Happy New Year.

Next: Gender Questions: Celestial Conversations - XXVII

Intro: Inexperienced
Previous: So Close, Yet So Far

(Episode 6. This is the final episode in a series about a couple that get married without the benefit of sex education. The nature of the series causes it to be a little explicit, even if this particular episode isn't, so if you're easily offended, you might want to read something else.)

Two months later, at a hospital.
"So, what did the doctor say?"
"I'm pregnant."
"What?!"
"Yes."
"Oh."

(silence)

"So we really have been doing it right."
"Apparently."
"Hmmm."
"You know that friend of yours?"
"The one I finally asked what goes where, you mean?"
"Yes."
"What about him?"
"Could you beat him up for me?"
"But why?! He helped! We should be thanking him!"
"I don't think so. If he really wanted to help, he would have told us about contraception."

Since this is World AIDS Day, here's some important information. So protect yourself, will you?

This is an actual conversation I had with someone they told me was a "Tech Support" person at Cingular, which is my cellphone service provider. And this was after I'd spent around 30 minutes on the phone with "Customer Care" and they decided they'd transfer me to someone who was "more equipped" to help me.

Support: Hi, and how may I help you today?
Me: Well, I'm calling because as of last Thursday, I've stopped receiving text messages from India.
S: You've started receiving text messages?
Me: No, I've stopped receiving text messages from India.
S: Okay, you've stopped receiving messages.
Me: Yes. People send me messages, but they never reach me. (Just in case she thought I was calling to complain that no one messages me anymore)
S: Okay. And what would you like to do today?
Me: (Speechless for a few seconds) I'd... like to know why I'm not getting messages from India anymore.

No, seriously. This is not a joke. That's one person who'd fail the Turing test. Or maybe she had a two-minute memory.

It turned out, by the way - another 30 minutes later - that I wasn't actually speaking to Tech Support, since Customer Care had forwarded me back to Customer Care.

So I've been tagged (If your office firewall blocks this because of the objectionable word in the URL, you can try this link. It's the top post).

I don't always do tags, but this is a post I've been wanting to write for at least a year and a half. So I've decided to give up on procrastination for just long enough to get this post done.

Basically, I'm supposed to write a post on the different words/phrases entered by people in search engines, that lead them to this blog. And because I started using Google Analytics a little less than a year ago, I have access to almost every search word used to reach this site since then. So I'll be doing this post as a series.

I'll start with one of the most common set of search terms that leads people to my blog.

Searches relating to Arranged Marriage - Long, long ago, so long ago, that I don't even remember how long ago, I wrote a post on Arranged Marriages. That's one post on the topic. And 8% of the hits on this blog, end up at that post. Here's a sampling of the kinds of search strings that people have used:

1. Arranged Marriage Statistics - That's given me 242 hits in the last 11 months. And from the comments on that post, I believe that these are mainly sociology students. So the crap I wrote, has probably ended up being used in someone's research project! I don't know whether to be proud, or worry that my opinion from a couple of years ago on a matter that I have absolutely no knowledge about, just might be considered Expert Opinion!
2. Giving up on love for arranged marriage - This one scares me. What if someone was trying to decide whether they should wait to find their true love, or just give in to parental pressure and have an arranged marriage? And what if it was my post that convinced this person to go in for an arranged marriage? What if they'd have found their true love if they had not read my post, and just waited for a few more months? What if I stood in the way of true love? How can I live with the burden of such a grave sin? My hair are turning gray from worrying.
3. Is arranged marriage legal in the united states? - What???
4. Arranged Marriages don't work
5. Arranged Marriages are Bad
6. Arranged Marriages are Evil - Okay, okay, I believe you!

Makes me wonder if I should have started a matrimonial site instead.

Update: I know I'm supposed to tag other people, but I'll make it an open invitation instead. If you feel like doing the tag, leave a comment, and I'll tag you.
Alternatively, if you want to know how to track search terms for your blog, or you want to get a counter that has that feature, let me know and I'll try to help out.

Update 2: Tagging Anwin and Deaths Head Roy.

Yes, I know the holiday season isn't exactly here yet, and Christmas is a long time away. But Santa dropped by this afternoon. No, really!

Remember that book-store I wrote about recently?

Well Santa just gave me two $50 gift cards to the store! $100 of books! I suddenly feel like a kid in a candy store. With mommy paying the bills!

Long live Santa!

Intro: Inexperienced
Previous: Fourth Night

(Episode 5. Read the previous episodes if you want to know what this is about. And be warned that it may not be suitable for children.)

"Listen. You have something that corresponds to this, right?"
"Well..."
"Yes?"
"I do, but..."
"But?"
"It can't be that!"
"Are you sure?"
"Well, it's too small!"
"Oh."
"Yes. That would be impossible. I know at least that much about my body."
"Ok."

Next: Inexperienced: Two Months Later

Intro: Inexperienced
Previous: Third Night

(Episode 4. You're still here, so I'll assume you don't need the "you could be offended" warning.)

"You're going to love me for this."
"I'm supposed to love you no matter what you do. That's what it's about, remember?"
"Well, you're going to love me even more, then."
(tries to look behind him, and suddenly smiles) "Diamonds!"
"Diamonds? No, no. I got a movie!"
"I'm supposed to love you for getting a movie?"
"No, you don't get it! It's an adult movie!"
"An adult movie?"
"Stupid, so we can figure out how to... you know!"
"Oh!"
"Yes!"
"Which movie is it?"
"Basic Instinct. I've heard a lot about it, but never had the guts to get it, before."
"Great! Well then what are you waiting for? Put it on!"

(a few minutes later)

"Do you actually want to watch the whole movie?"
"Not really. Well not tonight, at least."
"Then why don't we fast-forward until the... um... good bits come on?"
"Good idea."

(waiting impatiently)

"I can't believe it. We'll finally figure it out tonight!"
(both look at each other and grin)

(more waiting)

"Hey stop, stop, stop! He's kissing her! Rewind, rewind! Stop, stop, stop! You did too much! It's ok. We can wait for a minute or so."
(both grin again)

"So that's Sharon Stone?"
"I don't think so. I think Sharon Stone is supposed to be blonde. I think there are two women in the movie."
"Two women?"
"Yeah. Lucky guy."
"What?"
"Oh nothing, nothing. I meant... I meant... See he's kissing her!"
"Yes!"
"He's pushing her against the wall. Why is he doing that?"
"I don't know. Maybe he's... What happened? Is it over?"
"I don't know. Maybe the... the interesting part is with Sharon Stone."
"Oh. Ok."

(more waiting)

"Hey, they seem to be dancing. Let's watch this part."
"Ok."
"So that's Sharon Stone?"
"I think so."
"Ok. And that other girl?"
"No idea."
"Sharon Stone looks good, doesn't she?"
"Yes. Quite."

(pause)

"But not as good as you!"
"You learn fast."

"Hey see they're suddenly in the bedroom!"
"Finally... What? What happened? It's over?"

(both stare at screen)

"You know..."
"Yes?"
"I think this DVD is the censored version."
"You mean..."
"Yes."
"So..."

(silence)

"You know, years later when we look back, this is going to seem funny."
"If we ever figure it out, that is."
"Hmm."

"I'm going to give our kids sex education at the age of ten."
"Ten! Anyway. At this rate we'll probably end up having to adopt."
"Maybe they'll learn about it from their friends and tell us."
"True. Let's adopt an older kid, so that we don't have to wait too long."

Next: So Close, Yet So Far