Merry Christmas: Celestial Conversations - XXVI

First: Celestial Conversation
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God: Hello?
Me: Hi!
God: Hello.
Me: It's been so long since we chatted!
God: Yes, I've been busy.
Me: Busy?
God: Yes, I've been doing two jobs.
Me: Two jobs?
God: Yes. Luci went on a long vacation and asked Me to take care of stuff at Hell while he was away.
Me: Oh. Until when do you have to do this?
God: Until Hell freezes over.
Me: What?! But that's never going to happen!
God: Of course it is. It'll only be another couple of weeks at the most.
Me: Really?
God: Yes. Luci hasn't paid the heating bills in years.
Me: Oh. Well how has it been, doing two jobs?
God: Oh being in charge of Hell is no big deal. All the chaps there are pretty well-behaved. It's the commute that's killing me.
Me: Really? How far do you need to travel?
God: Half around the world, at one time. Then I decided to move Heaven to Texas.
Me: Oh. Where's Hell?
God: Manhattan.
Me: What?! How can The Devil afford the rent?
God: Simple. He doesn't pay the rent. As The Devil, he can get away with it.
Me: Right. So what did you do for Christmas?
God: Oh, We gave Jesus a surprise party.
Me: Really?
God: Yeah. The guys over in Hell came up with the idea.
Me: Where was the party?
God: Hell's Kitchen.
Me: Makes sense. But you do know that Jesus wasn't actually born on Christmas day, don't you?
God: He wasn't?
Me: No. No one actually remembers when Jesus was really born. Some people think He was born in the summer.
God: Oh. Well, would you mind not mentioning that to him?
Me: Okay. But why?
God: Would you be thrilled to know that no one in the world could remember your birthday?
Me: I guess not. Well Merry Christmas to You, in any case.
God: Yes. And a Happy New Year.

Next: Gender Questions: Celestial Conversations - XXVII