tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72149392024-03-14T00:07:29.105+05:30Why Me?An idle mind is a devil's workshop. This blog is thus a by-product of the devil's evil plot for world domination.Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.comBlogger175125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-60541321579798204332009-09-15T14:00:00.003+05:302009-09-15T14:02:30.007+05:30Being social: Celestial Conversations - #32First: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2004/08/celestial-conversation.html">Celestial Conversation</a><br />Previous: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-devil-celestial-conversations-31.html" title="What the Devil: Celestial Conversations - #31">What the Devil: Celestial Conversations - #31</a><blockquote><b>Me:</b> Hi!<br /><b>God:</b> Hello.<br /><b>Me:</b> So, did You have any luck on Twitter?<br /><b>God:</b> Yes, a few people finally started following me. So they are all now My prophets.<br /><b>Me:</b> That's great to hear.<br /><b>God:</b> I think it was Luci's doing. He promised people a seat in the house where a retired colonel lives.<br /><b>Me:</b> Retired colonel?<br /><b>God:</b> Yes, he said that My first 1000 followers will have a seat reserved right next to Heaven. There's only one house next to Our place. A retired colonel lives there. Grumpy old man. Not sure why people would be interested in living with <em>him</em>.<br /><b>Me:</b> Right. Well, Your new prophets must be happy.<br /><b>God:</b> I have no idea. They mostly won't speak to Me.<br /><b>Me:</b> Oh?<br /><b>God:</b> Yes. Instead, one guy wanted to confess to Me. What do I look like? A priest?<br /><b>Me:</b> So no one is speaking to You?<br /><b>God:</b> One guy did, but only to tell Me he thought I am a fake.<br /><b>Me:</b> So what did You do?<br /><b>God:</b> Damned him to Hell.<br /><b>Me:</b> Ah. Anyway, about Your prophets, what do You expect them to do?<br /><b>God:</b> Spread My word, of course!<br /><b>Me:</b> What word is that?<br /><b>God:</b> What do you mean by <em>What word</em>?<br /><b>Me:</b> I mean, if they go out and <em>spread your word</em>, what is it that they should be saying?<br /><b>God:</b> Whatever they want, as long as it's My word they're spreading.<br /><b>Me:</b> But You must have a message for the world.<br /><b>God:</b> What, like SMS?<br /><b>Me:</b> Not exactly.<br /><b>God:</b> I don't have a mobile phone. Do you think getting one will help?<br /><b>Me:</b> No, I don't think it will help. Unless You are interested in getting a lot of credit cards, personal loans or life insurance.<br /><b>God:</b> Life insurance? For Me?<br /><b>Me:</b> I think You need to come up with a message that You want Your prophets to spread.<br /><b>God:</b> But I don't have any message.<br /><b>Me:</b> Well, come up with one.<br /><b>God:</b> Like what?<br /><b>Me:</b> I don't know, something You want people to know.<br /><b>God:</b> Are you sure?<br /><b>Me:</b> Yes.<br /><b>God:</b> So you want Me to tell My prophets to go and tell people things like "There's a sale at Reebok"?<br /><b>Me:</b> Uh, not exactly.<br /><b>God:</b> Then?<br /><b>Me:</b> I can't make up Your messages for You!<br /><b>God:</b> Why not?<br /><b>Me:</b> Because then it wouldn't be The Word of God. It would be The Word of Me!<br /><b>God:</b> Well you're the one who wants Me come up with a message in the first place.<br /><b>Me:</b> So You don't have any message for the world?<br /><b>God:</b> No.<br /><b>Me:</b> And You want Your prophets to spread what?<br /><b>God:</b> My word.<br /><b>Me:</b> Okay. I'm glad we got <em>that</em> cleared up.<br /><b>God:</b> Good. Now I must go and set up a Facebook account.<br /><b>Me:</b> Right. Facebook has more followers than Buddha.<br /><b>God:</b> What? I didn't even know Buddha had any followers! I asked him for help setting up a Twitter account, and he said he didn't bother with such futile activity. The liar. I'm going to kill him!<br /><b>Me:</b> I told You before, it's not <em>that</em> kind of follower.<br /><b>God:</b> I'm logging off. I have some business to take care of.<br /></blockquote>Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-73578942528862989342009-09-09T09:00:00.013+05:302009-09-15T14:02:30.008+05:30What the Devil: Celestial Conversations - #31First: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2004/08/celestial-conversation.html">Celestial Conversation</a><br />Previous: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2009/09/of-online-identities-celestial.html" title="Of Online Identities: Celestial Conversations - #30">Of Online Identities: Celestial Conversations - #30</a><blockquote><b>Me:</b> Hello?<br /><b>Devil:</b> Hello.<br /><b>Me:</b> You!<br /><b>Devil:</b> Yes, me. The one and only.<br /><b>Me:</b> What are you doing here? I didn't even say your name this time.<br /><b>Devil:</b> Don't you know the date today?<br /><b>Me:</b> What, the 9th of September?<br /><b>Devil:</b> The 9th day of the 9th month of the 9th year of the millennium. And it's 9'o'clock by the way.<br /><b>Me:</b> I thought that only worked with 6.<br /><b>Devil:</b> 9 is just 6 upside down.<br /><b>Me:</b> So what, you're going to be good today?<br /><b>Devil:</b> Damn, you're smart. I was hoping no one would realize this.<br /><b>Me:</b> What, you're actually being good?<br /><b>Devil:</b> Don't have much of a choice. Mathematics is one area I have no control over.<br /><b>Me:</b> Really?<br /><b>Devil:</b> Yeah. But I once hypnotized God into forgetting about the number Seven.<br /><b>Me:</b> What?<br /><b>Devil:</b> Yeah. So when he counted, eight came after six. I got Him to count His fingers, and He ended up thinking He suddenly had <em>eleven</em> fingers on His hands! It drove Him crazy!<br /><b>Me:</b> I'm sure it did. So what good things are you planning to do?<br /><b>Devil:</b> Well, for one, I'm going to try to get God more followers on Twitter.<br /><b>Me:</b> Ah! That would be interesting. So what is your strategy going to be?<br /><b>Devil:</b> Well, for one, we have to beat the skepticism. People don't believe He's God, so they won't follow him. That's actually my fault. Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt. My guys have done a LOT to get that to work. Now, for one day, I need to get around exactly those problems.<br /><b>Me:</b> So how do you fix the skepticism?<br /><b>Devil:</b> I tried getting Him a Verified Account.<br /><b>Me:</b> But isn't that manually screened? You need to convince the guys who run the site, that it actually <em>is</em> God's account.<br /><b>Devil:</b> Yes, I did figure that out. And yet, I <em>had</em> convinced the guy who was screening this case.<br /><b>Me:</b> So, what happened?<br /><b>Devil:</b> Uh, it's embarrassing. Rookie mistake, really. I tried to get him to sell me his soul to me.<br /><b>Me:</b> Ah.<br /><b>Devil:</b> You have no idea how big the urge was. And I haven't done that in <em>years</em>! Not with the overcrowding in hell and stuff.<br /><b>Me:</b> So, no verified account then?<br /><b>Devil:</b> Nope.<br /><b>Me:</b> Any other good deeds you intend to spectacularly fail at?<br /><b>Devil:</b> There are a couple. One is ending poverty. And the other is fixing global warming.<br /><b>Me:</b> You don't think small, <em>do</em> you?<br /><b>Devil:</b> Comes with the territory. You don't get known as God's greatest adversary, getting cats stuck in trees.<br /><b>Me:</b> Right.<br /><b>Devil:</b> I've done that too, of course.<br /><b>Me:</b> Cats in trees?<br /><b>Devil:</b> Yes, cats are inherently evil, so it makes it more fun. Plus, you tie up a bunch of hard-working firefighters in a futile exercise. The cat's going to jump down on its own anyway.<br /><b>Me:</b> So if you're being good today, what's God doing?<br /><b>Devil:</b> Trying to be evil.<br /><b>Me:</b> What?<br /><b>Devil:</b> Well, God's not very used to the whole Evil thing of course, so I started him off small.<br /><b>Me:</b> Like what?<br /><b>Devil:</b> I've asked him to memorize the lyrics to some songs with adult lyrics.<br /><b>Me:</b> Oh.<br /><b>Devil:</b> Don't worry. I started him easy. He'll start with Black-Eyed-Peas' "My Humps". He'll probably not even understand what they mean. Then we'll move him on to Lil Kim's "Download", before we get to the heavier stuff.<br /><b>Me:</b> Ouch.<br /><b>Devil:</b> Oh, you haven't heard the best part yet. At the end of the day, He's supposed to do a concert of the dirtiest songs in front of everyone in Heaven and Hell!<br /><b>Me:</b> That does sound evil. Poor Him.<br /><b>Devil:</b> Oh, it will be a blast.<br /><b>Me:</b> Well, I guess you have work to do.<br /><b>Devil:</b> Yes, I better get back to it.<br /><b>Me:</b> Bye, then.<br /><b>Devil:</b> Tada!<br /></blockquote><br />Next: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2009/09/being-social-celestial-conversations-32.html" title="Being social: Celestial Conversations - #32">Being social: Celestial Conversations - #32</a>Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-86849315086165884942009-09-07T08:00:00.005+05:302009-09-15T14:02:30.008+05:30Of Online Identities: Celestial Conversations - #30First: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2004/08/celestial-conversation.html">Celestial Conversation</a><br />Previous: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2009/06/miracles-and-failure-celestial.html" title="Miracles and Failure: Celestial Conversations - XXIX">Miracles and Failure: Celestial Conversations - XXIX</a><blockquote><b>Me:</b> Hey, God.<br /><b>God:</b> Hello. You've changed the numbering scheme?<br /><b>Me:</b> Yes, I thought XXX in the title would attract the wrong kind of search traffic.<br /><b>God:</b> No traffic is bad traffic, I always say. And I am God, so I know of such things.<br /><b>Me:</b> So what are You up to?<br /><b>God:</b> Oh, I've spent the last couple of days on Twitter.<br /><b>Me:</b> Ah, how come?<br /><b>God:</b> Well, the first day was spent trying to find a username that wasn't already taken. There are a LOT of impostors there. I tried "God", "GodHimself", "TheRealGod", "IAmGod", "G_O_D", "Gawd" and a few hundred others.<br /><b>Me:</b> Yes, a lot of people like to speak on Your behalf.<br /><b>God:</b> One would think that they'd at least ask Me if I approve.<br /><b>Me:</b> Well Twitterers aren't the only ones saying things on Your behalf without Your approval, You know.<br /><b>God:</b> What do you mean?<br /><b>Me:</b> A little something called religion.<br /><b>God:</b> Oh. That.<br /><b>Me:</b> Yes. So, did you finally find a username?<br /><b>God:</b> I almost didn't. Then I had a brainwave.<br /><b>Me:</b> What?<br /><b>God:</b> I chose <a href="http://twitter.com/notdevil">NotDevil</a>.<br /><b>Me:</b> "NotDevil"? That's your username?<br /><b>God:</b> You try searching for a username with my name that's not taken. This was the best I could do.<br /><b>Me:</b> Well, ok. If You say so. But why Twitter?<br /><b>God:</b> I heard it was a great place to get followers.<br /><b>Me:</b> I'm not sure they meant <em>that</em> kind of follower.<br /><b>God:</b> Nonsense. What other kind of follower can there be? In any case, it doesn't work. I've been on this stupid site for a whole day, and no one is following Me.<br /><b>Me:</b> Ok.<br /><b>God:</b> I search for Myself in Twitter, and the thing is, a million people are talking to Me, thanking me, or just taking My name, but they are all ignoring me!<br /><b>Me:</b> Well, they don't really know that you're not an impostor.<br /><b>God:</b> That's true. For a while there, a couple of hundred poor women signed up as my followers, but they disappeared a little while later.<br /><b>Me:</b> Couple of hundred poor women? How do you know they were poor?<br /><b>God:</b> Their pictures proved they couldn't afford any clothes.<br /><b>Me:</b> Right. So, what have else You been doing on Twitter?<br /><b>God:</b> I've been replying to people.<br /><b>Me:</b> Replying?<br /><b>God:</b> For example, someone said "Thank God." So I replied, "You're welcome."<br /><b>Me:</b> Ah.<br /><b>God:</b> One person finally followed Me, so I made him My prophet.<br /><b>Me:</b> You did?<br /><b>God:</b> Yes, but it didn't work. He's too lazy. He's not even trying to speak to me. So I made a deal with Luci. He's going to Hell.<br /><b>Me:</b> Ah.<br /><b>God:</b> In any case, I must get back to Twitter.<br /><b>Me:</b> Why?<br /><b>God:</b> There are a number of people who keep saying I don't exist. I need to have a word with them.<br /><b>Me:</b> Right. All the best.<br /><b>God:</b> Thank you. Hey, are <em>you</em> on twitter?<br /><b>Me:</b> Why?<br /><b>God:</b> You should follow Me.<br /><b>Me:</b> Would you look at the time? Gotta go. Bye!<br /></blockquote><br />Next: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-devil-celestial-conversations-31.html" title="What the Devil: Celestial Conversations - #31">What the Devil: Celestial Conversations - #31</a>Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-37304607943210638032009-06-23T09:00:00.001+05:302009-09-15T14:02:30.009+05:30Miracles and Failure: Celestial Conversations - XXIXFirst: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2004/08/celestial-conversation.html">Celestial Conversation</a><br />Previous: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2009/04/of-campaigns-celestial-conversations.html" title="Of Campaigns: Celestial Conversations - XXVIII">Of Campaigns: Celestial Conversations - XXVIII</a><blockquote><b>Me:</b> Hey God!<br /><b>God:</b> Hello.<br /><b>Me:</b> So how did the elections go? Did You win?<br /><b>God:</b> Don't even ask!<br /><b>Me:</b> Why, what happened?<br /><b>God:</b> They disqualified Me!<br /><b>Me:</b> What?<br /><b>God:</b> Yes. For demanding votes in the name of religion!<br /><b>Me:</b> Oh.<br /><b>God:</b> I told them I was demanding votes in the name of Me. But they didn't listen!<br /><b>Me:</b> Maybe You should have joined some party. You could have demanded votes in the name of anything then.<br /><b>God:</b> I tried that. But they all rejected My application.<br /><b>Me:</b> How come?<br /><b>God:</b> They said I was too old. My joining would increase the average age of party members.<br /><b>Me:</b> Ah. So what have You been doing since then?<br /><b>God:</b> I've been trying to arrange miracles. You know. Build support at the grass-root level.<br /><b>Me:</b> I thought You said You couldn't do that kind of thing because of the laws of physics.<br /><b>God:</b> True, but there was no harm in trying.<br /><b>Me:</b> What sort of miracles?<br /><b>God:</b> I've been trying to make it rain fish, or at least tadpoles.<br /><b>Me:</b> Where did You try this?<br /><b>God:</b> In South India. The fishermen have been having trouble because of all the military presence. But the stupid miracle didn't work.<br /><b>Me:</b> Was the miracle supposed to be limited to a specific place?<br /><b>God:</b> Yes, but now that you mention it, I've never been good with geography.<br /><b>Me:</b> So it could have rained fish in, say, Japan?<br /><b>God:</b> Possible. But how does that matter?<br /><b>God:</b> Oh, nothing. Just curious. Anyway, All The Best.<br /><b>God:</b> Thanks. Bye, then.<br /><b>Me:</b> Bye.<br /></blockquote><br />Next: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2009/09/of-online-identities-celestial.html" title="Of Online Identities: Celestial Conversations - #30">Of Online Identities: Celestial Conversations - #30</a>Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-68347044451157688692009-04-13T09:00:00.011+05:302009-04-13T09:00:00.727+05:30Adopted<b>Mom:</b> Hi, Son.<br /><b>Son:</b> Hey Mom, Hey Dad.<br /><b>Dad:</b> Son, we wanted to talk to you about something.<br /><b>Son:</b> Sure, Dad.<br /><b>Dad:</b> You turn 21 tomorrow.<br /><b>Son:</b> Yes! My friends and I have a great day planned.<br /><b>Dad:</b> That's great. See, we thought this is a good opportunity to tell you the truth about something.<br /><b>Son:</b> Oh, okay. What is it?<br /><b>Dad:</b> You know how we told you that you were adopted?<br /><b>Son:</b> Yes, of course. I'm really glad that you let me know right from the beginning. It could have been quite stressful if I'd found out late."<br /><b>Dad:</b> Yes, it's about that -<br /><b>Son:</b> What, you know who my biological parents are?<br /><b>Dad:</b> Actually, the thing is, when we told you that you were adopted, we weren't telling the complete truth.<br /><b>Son:</b> What? I don't understand.<br /><b>Mom:</b> See, you're not really adopted.<br /><b>Son:</b> What? I don't get it. Why are you saying this?<br /><b>Dad:</b> We thought you're old enough to understand now.<br /><b>Son:</b> No, I mean... I don't understand. How can I not be adopted?<br /><b>Dad:</b> That's easy, son. Your mom really is your biological mother.<br /><b>Son:</b> No! I mean... If I was not adopted, then why would you tell me I was?<br /><b>Dad:</b> Oh, your mother always wanted to adopt.<br /><b>Son:</b> Hunh?<br /><b>Mom:</b> Yes, we had even got in touch with an adoption agency. And then we found out that I was pregnant.<br /><b>Son:</b> But...<br /><b>Mom:</b> It was a tough time for us, son. So we decided to pretend that we'd adopted you. And suddenly everything was perfect.<br /><b>Son:</b> Perfect?<br /><b>Dad:</b> Yes. And now that you're old enough, we thought it was important that you know the truth.<br /><b>Son:</b> I'm really not adopted?<br /><b>Dad:</b> No, son. You're not.<br /><b>Son:</b> But...<br /><b>Mom:</b> It's okay, son. We love you just the same.<br /><b>Son:</b> But this doesn't make any sense!<br /><b>Dad:</b> It's really very simple, Son. We are really your biological parents.<br /><b>Son:</b> But -<br /><b>Dad:</b> Now enough chit-chat. You've got a busy day tomorrow. So get into bed and get a good night's sleep. Good night.<br /><b>Mom:</b> Good night, dear. We love you.Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-10781952021424148232009-04-09T16:40:00.002+05:302009-09-15T14:02:30.009+05:30Of Campaigns: Celestial Conversations - XXVIIIFirst: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2004/08/celestial-conversation.html">Celestial Conversation</a><br />Previous: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2007/02/gender-questions-celestial.html" title="Gender Questions: Celestial Conversations - XXVII">Gender Questions: Celestial Conversations - XXVII</a><blockquote><b>Me:</b> Hello?<br /><b>God:</b> Hello.<br /><b>Me:</b> Hi God! How have You been doing?<br /><b>God:</b> Fine, I guess. Been a little busy lately. Lots of things going on.<br /><b>Me:</b> Like what?<br /><b>God:</b> Well, for one thing, there was this <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2009/02/power-of-pink-chaddi.html">Pink Underwear Campaign</a> recently.<br /><b>Me:</b> What, You helped organize it?!<br /><b>God:</b> Oh, no! Not at all. But some of Us in Heaven contributed.<br /><b>Me:</b> Wow, like who?<br /><b>God:</b> Oh, Mother Teresa, Florence Nightingale, Gandhi, St Peter, Aishwarya Rai...<br /><b>Me:</b> Aishwarya Rai? But she's not dead yet!<br /><b>God:</b> Oh, she was just visiting.<br /><b>Me:</b> So she knows about You?<br /><b>God:</b> Of course not. We pretended to be an old age home.<br /><b>Me:</b> But didn't she recognize anyone? <br /><b>God:</b> Not really. She thought we were having a fancy dress party.<br /><b>Me:</b> Ah.<br /><b>God:</b> Yes.<br /><b>Me:</b> So, she and the others contributed pink underwear to the campaign?<br /><b>God:</b> Pink and other colors. Gandhi contributed two in fluorescent green.<br /><b>Me:</b> Fluorescent green?<br /><b>God:</b> Yes. He got them in the '90s. But the biggest contribution was from Florence Nightingale.<br /><b>Me:</b> Really?<br /><b>God:</b> Yes. Forty three thousand eight hundred and seventy nine pairs of underwear in all shades of pink, and *a-hem* all kinds of styles. It was like a museum of lingerie in the twentieth century. The sight was enough to make even Me blush.<br /><b>Me:</b> Where'd she get so many?<br /><b>God:</b> They were all her own. She gave up doing her laundry when she died. She just gets new ones every time. And she hates throwing anything away.<br /><b>Me:</b> Oh.<br /><b>God:</b> Yes. It took days to get the stuff packed, and putting the stamps on was a torture. After it was all over, the girls went out and got drunk at a local pub, and the guys stayed in and played Monopoly.<br /><b>Me:</b> Right.<br /><b>God:</b> But the thing that's been keeping Me busiest recently is the elections.<br /><b>Me:</b> The elections? Are You in India now?<br /><b>God:</b> Yes. I thought I'd try to get elected.<br /><b>Me:</b> You're getting into politics?!<br /><b>God:</b> Yes. The competition are all corrupt. I think I have a good chance.<br /><b>Me:</b> Well, all the best!<br /><b>God:</b> Thanks. I'll sign off now. I need to work on my manifesto.<br /><b>Me:</b> Bye then.<br /><b>God:</b> Bye.<br /></blockquote><br />Next: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2009/06/miracles-and-failure-celestial.html" title="Miracles and Failure: Celestial Conversations - XXIX">Miracles and Failure: Celestial Conversations - XXIX</a>Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-62715273907169031652009-04-07T13:20:00.004+05:302009-04-07T13:38:20.383+05:30The Geek In MeI'm making yet another attempt to climb back on to the social bandwagon, and this time it's by rejuvenating my technology oriented blog. So if you are interested in geeky stuff, you might want to head to <a href="http://geekwhorled.blogspot.com/">Geek Whorled</a>. I intend to write there about programming (Java, OpenGL, GTK, Python, etc), gadgets that interest me or that I own (including doing product reviews), Linux, and anything that I feel is too geeky for this blog.<br /><br />If I can keep the tempo up, I also hope to post more on this blog as a side-effect.Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-61669712385934577342009-02-12T13:25:00.000+05:302009-02-12T13:28:20.744+05:30The Power Of The Pink ChaddiThe <a href="http://thepinkchaddicampaign.blogspot.com/">Pink Chaddi Campaign</a> is probably the most amazing use of humour (and love, supposedly) that I have ever seen. The Alternative Law Forum, under the guise of the "Consortium of Pubgoing, Loose and Forward Women", have come up with the unique idea of sending thousands of 'pink chaddis' (though they later clarified that they no longer 'colour-discriminate') to Pramod Muthalik, the infamous perpetrator of supposedly Indian culture-prescribed violence against women in a pub in Mangalore. The one <a href="http://www.indianexpress.com/news/valentines-day-battle-lines-drawn-in-pink-a.../422409/">statement from the man</a> that really stood out for me was<br /><blockquote>If they had to oppose something, they could have talked it out with us.</blockquote><br />Apparently, he thinks indulging in violence is acceptable, but in a non-violent campaign is not.<br /><br />In any case, the support for the campaign has been so great that they collected more than <a href="http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Bangalore/Thumbs_up_for_pink_chaddis/articleshow/4114707.cms">19,000</a> 'chaddis' within a week, and started requesting people to send their packages directly.<br /><br />I think with a little more organization and some sponsorship (like maybe from Kohinoor, Archies/Hallmark and VIP/Jockey), this could become the standard response to any party or group that indulges in activities that "don't reflect Indian culture".<br /><br />What say?Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-50683120670268803662008-11-27T17:15:00.000+05:302008-11-27T17:15:55.515+05:30My City Is Under AttackAs I write this, it's been more than 18 hours since the first of the terror strikes was reported in South Mumbai. The news channels won't report anything else, some of the presenters have been awake all night reporting on events as they emerge, and it seems to me like the whole city must be glued to their television sets waiting for all this to end.<br /><br />I slept at around 2:00am last night, refusing to continue watching the news, expecting that things would be more or less resolved by the time I woke up. Even the news of top cops losing their lives, only made me believe that everything that needed to be done was being done. I resolved to not let the terror get to me, as that seemed like conceding defeat to the terrorists. And yet, I woke at 7:30am (an event in itself), and without bothering to brush my teeth, walked into the living room and turned the TV on.<br /><br />If I were to track my mood since then, I'd say that I started the day simply assimilating all the information that all the different news channels beamed at me, still hopeful that things would end 'soon'. Seeing the Taj Mahal Hotel burning, was the first shock. The second shock was when I heard that the college classmate of an acquaintance died in the firing at Cafe Leopold. It always makes more of an impact when you feel you are connected to someone who was affected. It could so easily have been you. <br /><br />Then there were the photographs of the terrorists themselves. They could easily pass off as visitors of the hotels and restaurants they have terrorized, if not for the weapons they carried.<br /><br />A doctor from inside the Taj call up a news channel and said she was in a group of around 35 people, and that there was one person whom she was trying to take care of, who had been shot in the abdomen, and had been bleeding all night. She was speaking very calmly and tried to highlight the fact that the man urgently needed medical attention. In a second call from her a while later, she seemed extremely distraught. This while some people seemed to be leaving the Taj and were carried away in ambulances and BEST buses. The news presenters are tired and desperate for good news. Every assault by the army is termed the "final leg of the assault on the terrorists". <br /><br />My father then told me that his cousin apparently visited Cafe Leopold almost every Wednesday, last night being an exception. She and her mother who lives in a building close to Nariman House are both safe.<br /><br />Hours went by, and very little seemed to change. The hope I initially had, was replaced with fear, fear turned to sorrow, and sorrow turned to despair. Stop attacking my city, a part of me screams. End this insanity now.<br /><br />And I'm dozens of kilometers away from where the main action is still on. Even 3-4 kilometers away from the Marriot in Juhu - the closest place to here where firing took place. This is the first time that I'm actually in Mumbai when terror has stuck here. All the other times, I was either in Chennai or in the US. And yet, a terror attack that has lasted for so long, can hardly compare with bomb blasts that are over in a short span of time. There is going to be a difference in the psychological impact of events that last an hour, versus events that last a whole day.<br /><br />I thank all the soldiers, firemen and police personnel that have been involved in trying to end this stand-off, and hope that it all gets over soon.Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-16239210787711724322008-10-27T18:15:00.003+05:302008-10-27T18:33:15.704+05:30Ubuntu On My Desktop<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.ubuntu.com/"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 180px; height: 59px;" src="https://wiki.ubuntu.com/WebsiteButtons?action=AttachFile&do=get&target=ubuntu_button_alt_180x59.png" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />I've been using <a href="http://www.ubuntu.com/products/whatisubuntu/804features/">Ubuntu Hardy Heron Desktop Linux (8.04)</a> since April, when I got myself a new desktop PC. There was no way I was going to inflict <a href="http://badvista.fsf.org/">Vista</a> on my new hardware, and I'd really liked the ease of using <a href="http://www.ubuntu.com/products/whatisubuntu/serveredition">Ubuntu Server Edition</a> the one year before that, at work. The configuration of my custom-built PC is -<br /><ul><li><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00116XB6W?ie=UTF8&tag=wm08-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00116XB6W">Intel Core 2 Duo E8200 (2.66 GHz)</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wm08-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B00116XB6W" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" /></li><li><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000PYHHNY?ie=UTF8&tag=wm08-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B000PYHHNY">Intel DG33FB ATX Motherboard</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wm08-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B000PYHHNY" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" /></li><li><a href="http://www.theitdepot.com/product.php?cat=6&sub_category_id=138&product_id=2336">Corsair 2GB RAM</a></li><li>Two <a href="http://www.theitdepot.com/product.php?cat=12&sub_category_id=23&product_id=973">Seagate SATA 7200rpm 160GB Disk Drives</a></li><li><a href="http://www.theitdepot.com/product.php?cat=5&sub_category_id=9&product_id=375">Antec ATX Cabinet</a></li><li><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000X84VMM?ie=UTF8&tag=wm08-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B000X84VMM">ASUS 20X DVD-RW Drive with Lightscribe</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wm08-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B000X84VMM" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" /></li><li><a href="http://www.theitdepot.com/product.php?cat=45&sub_category_id=175&product_id=3191">Sapphire Radeon HD 2600XT 512 MB</a></li></ul><br />My choice of an ATI-based graphics card was based on the fact that ATI seems to be a lot more dedicated to developing open-source drivers than nVidia. They've released their GPU specs, which means anyone can write their own drivers without hacking or reverse-engineering the proprietary binaries, and without worrying that their driver will stop working with the next batch of the chip because some behaviour changed. This means that while currently nVidia has the best support, the future will favour ATI. It was definitely a gamble, but picking a manufacturer that supports Open Source, felt right.<br /><br />Installing Ubuntu is a breeze. I had downloaded the ISO for the 64-bit version, from the Ubuntu site and burnt it a CD. I booted off this CD, and except for selecting the language, timezone, and partition sizes (which I like to customize), just sat back and watched Ubuntu install itself - in under 20 minutes. And at the end of the installation, I had everything - display, sound, internet, music and video players, cd-burning tools, internet tools, a BitTorrent client, Office software, and even games (including Sudoku). When I tried to install Windows XP on the same machine in dual-boot mode, just getting the OS installed took more than 40 minutes. Then I had to install the motherboard drivers, the display drivers, and the monitor drivers. I only wanted XP to play my copy of Need for Speed Underground 2, but if I had wanted to use XP for normal purposes, I would have spent the next few hours installing Norton 360, MS Office, and some internet tools. Talk about a waste of time!<br /><br />The only things I changed after installing Ubuntu, were <br /><ul><li>Used 'Restricted' (meaning closed-source) drivers from ATI, which work a lot better than the open-source ones at this time</li><li>Installed the msttcorefonts package, which contains some Microsoft developed true-type fonts, including the ubiquitous Verdana</li><li>Turned on Desktop Effects (Compiz Fusion)</li><li>Installed the compizconfig-settings-manager package to customize the Compiz settings to my liking</li></ul><br />The fonts and drivers are not installed by default, for legal reasons. Closed-source drivers and fonts must be selected by the user specifically. Compiz Fusion - a compositing window manager that makes Vista's Aero obsolete - is still not as stable on large number of machines, and won't work on many embedded graphics card so for simplicity, it's turned off until you specifically turn it on. See this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4Fbk52Mk1w">Compiz Fusion demo</a> and find out why Linux users are so thrilled. And before you ask - No, you can't get this working on Windows.<br /><br />I'm a complete geek, but one thing I noticed about Ubuntu is the fact that - as advertised - it just works. It'll be a lot easier for you to teach your grandparents to use Ubuntu, than to use Vista. Desktop Linux is definitely here to stay.<br /><br />The latest version of Ubuntu - Intrepid Ibex (8.10) - will be out in 3 days. So head to the <a href="http://www.ubuntu.com/">Ubuntu site</a> and try it for yourself.<br /><br /><b>Note</b>: Here are some good articles if you've never setup a dual-boot system before -<br /><a href="http://apcmag.com/how_to_dualboot_vista_with_linux_vista_installed_first.htm">How to dual-boot Vista with Linux (Vista installed first) -- the step-by-step guide with screenshots</a><br /><a href="http://apcmag.com/how_to_dual_boot_windows_xp_and_linux_xp_installed_first.htm">How to dual boot Windows XP and Linux (XP installed first) -- the step-by-step guide with screenshots</a>Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-37029328305388076202008-10-23T19:15:00.001+05:302008-10-23T19:41:53.603+05:30A Country Of ContrastsAn 80-year-old political leader and some others are killed in Orissa by a group of suspected Maoist insurgents. Political parties blame the murders on a religious community. Religious violence breaks out, and many people die. Others are forcefully converted and humiliated. The state government looks the other way, for the most part.<br /><br />In a different state, a young political leader forms his own party. In his greed for votes, he incites violence against people of other communities, in the name of protecting what he calls sons-of-the-soil. Many people (including sons-of-the-soil) are hurt, a few die, and there is fear and tension all around. This government looks the other way too.<br /><br />Terrorists cross the border from other countries, and find the general public dissatisfied with a lot of things, and easy to divide on religious or other grounds. There are 'terrorist' attacks all over the country.<br /><br />News channels monger fear and panic, using everything from ghosts under trees, to particle accelerators, to rumors about terrorist attacks, to the ineffectiveness of the government's security measures in preventing said terrorist attacks, to the fall of the stock market. They try to divide people along lines of 'people vs the government', 'people vs foreign investors', and even 'people vs science'.<br /><br />In the middle of all this, a group of scientists of different castes, from different states, and following different religions, manages to launch a mission to the moon.<br /><br />We seem to be a country of contrasts. Easily divided, easily provoked, easily offended, easily scared. And yet, when some of us put our minds to it, we can accomplish so much. Even the moon doesn't seem so far.<br /><br />To think of what we could accomplish if everyone stopped trying to divide us, and worked on unity instead...Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-54065967187411767432008-10-22T21:15:00.001+05:302008-10-23T14:06:20.866+05:30Chandrayaan-1: We Have Lift-off!At 6:22am Indian Standard Time today, India's first unmanned mission to the moon successfully took off from India's <a href="http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&ie=UTF8&t=h&lci=lmc:panoramio,lmc:wikipedia_en&ll=13.72025,80.230472&spn=0.009651,0.013819&z=16">satellite launch centre in Sriharikota in Andhra Pradesh</a>, 80km from Chennai.<br /><br />The success of this mission, which will attain lunar orbit 15 days from now, will bring no little pride to our country. And yet there are people who question the very basis of the mission. <em>"Do we really need it?"</em> they ask. And the reasons they give for why this mission is a waste of time and money?<br /><blockquote>The money (386 crore) could have been better spent feeding the country's poor.</blockquote><br />and<br /><blockquote>Other countries have already gone to the moon. What new can we learn?</blockquote><br />D-uh.<br /><br />First of all, this is an advancement of the country's technological prowess. As Dr K. Kasturirangan, chairperson of <a href="http://www.isro.org/">ISRO</a> said when the Chandrayaan-I project was announced<br /><blockquote>It is not a question of whether we can afford it, it's whether we can afford to ignore it.</blockquote><br />In dollar terms, the mission has cost India only US$80 Million. That's pocket-change when compared to NASA's Billion dollar space-probe budgets. And the returns will be great.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.antrix.gov.in/">Antrix</a>, the Indian Department of Space's commercial arm, earns valuable foreign exchange every year, by launching satellites for other countries, selling data captured by its satellites, and also selling hardware and software. This lunar mission will not only strengthen India's position in the commercial satellite launch sector, but will also give India more experience in the various aspects of space travel.<br /><br />A mission to the moon - accomplished by only five other countries till date - will put India in the elite group of space-faring countries. So when humans do start visiting or living in space, India will not be waiting in line to be <em>piggy-backed</em> there. We'll be able to get to space on our own. And we'll probably be <a href="http://gizmodo.com/5066928/nasa-returns-to-the-moon-as-indian-spacecraft-stowaway">giving other countries a ride</a> just like we did this time.<br /><br />And as far as the question "What is there to learn?" goes, there's <em>always</em> something to learn. This particular mission hopes to capture the following information:<br /><br /><ul><li>Map a 3-d atlas of the moon with a spatial and altitude resolution of 5-10 metres.</li><li>Get information about the distribution of various minerals on the moon</li></ul><br />Apart from this, we also hope to get information on Helium-3 deposits, which will be useful for nuclear fusion research, and may be one of the answers to our energy problems.<br />Additionally, today's successful launch seems to have already cleared the hurdles towards government funding of our <a href="http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Indias_manned_moon_mission_by_2015_ISRO_chairman/articleshow/3627577.cms"><em><del>man</del> <ins>person</ins> on the moon</em></a> plans. There were earlier reports that the <a href="http://www.newstrackindia.com/newsdetails/246">government was rethinking</a> that mission because of the high cost.<br /><br />All the attention that ISRO get out of all these missions might also help some of the brain-drain of scientists from India. I mean as of today, how many people you know actually want to become scientists working for the government? The idea of possibly working for something as glorious as your country's space program, can pretty motivating.<br /><br />Of course, today's only been Stage 1, the easiest of all stages. India has been sending satellites into space for a long time now, and is so good at it makes money out of the exercise. The next couple of weeks will be really interesting, and will be the true test of Indian capability.<br /><br />I'm not much of a believer but I think I'll have a chat with <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2004/08/celestial-conversation.html">my friend</a> just in case.<br /><br /><b>Update:</b> DesiCritics.org has two good posts on the benefit of the mission - <a href="http://desicritics.org/2008/10/22/125213.php">here</a> and <a href="http://desicritics.org/2008/10/22/125656.php">here</a>.Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-25312347082269390702008-10-21T11:15:00.001+05:302008-10-21T11:15:01.607+05:30Proper Nouns And PronounceHere I am, breaking my year and half long self-imposed <em>Maun Vrat</em> (Oath of silence?), to do what I love doing more than anything else.<br /><br />Complain.<br /><br />Some things never change, eh?<br /><br />A friend of mine, often pronounces certain words <del>wrongly</del> <ins>differently from what I consider the correct pronunciation</ins>, and refuses to correct herself when I point this out, because she says<br /><blockquote>You can pronounce proper nouns however you want.</blockquote><br />A-hem. No, no, not <em><a href="http://kerfuffled.blogspot.com/">that one</a></em>! I mean like the sound you make when clearing your throat. Of course, that's more like Ghhmhhmghm, but I digress.<br /><br />So, where was I? Right.<br /><br />A-hem. No, you can<em>not</em> pronounce proper nouns <em>however you want</em>!<br /><br />Take the case of a name, like 'Rajesh' (that's my name, in case you were wondering). My name has a specific pronunciation, and pronouncing it "Rahash" - "j" is pronounced "h" in spanish/latin/mexican - would be <em>wrong</em>.<br />Similarly, it is not okay to pronounce the Indian name Dhillon, as "Dhee-yo-n", even if Quesadilla is pronounced as "Ke-sa-dee-ya". "Amit" is "A-mih-t", and cannot be pronounced "A-mite" or "Aim-it". "Iraq" if pronounced "Eye-Rack", is being pronounced <em>wrong</em>, even if it's being pronounced by the President of the United States of America!<br /><br />Names derived from new additions to the English language are all the more problematic, since you often see the words in print long before you actually hear them. The "Wiki" in Wikipedia, is pronounced "Wih-key", not "<em>Why</em>-key". (On a related note, if you do decide to use the term "LOL" in real speech, then it's pronounced "Ell-oh-Ell", not "Lole"! Of course, I would recommend actually laughing instead.)<br /><br />A proper noun is a name, and mangling someone's or something's name is not polite - to say the least. <br /><br />So, the next time any of you decide to change the pronunciation of any so-called "Proper Noun", do consider taking the permission of the owner of that name.Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-8766331243459780612007-03-19T10:10:00.001+05:302007-03-19T10:10:01.583+05:30The Vision<em>He woke up screaming.<br /><br />He'd had a vision, and somehow he was sure that it would come true. The world was going to end. In less than three hours.<br /><br />He had to tell someone. They had to try to stop it. He ran out into the street, and tried to grab the arm of someone who was passing by. But his arms refused to react. He tried to shout, but no voice came from his throat. He tried to write on the ground with a piece of chalk, but his arms wouldn't move. It was as if the universe didn't want him to interfere. He walked around the town trying to talk to people, to warn them. They stared at him, but never reacted, never interrupted what they were doing.<br /><br />Time passed, but he couldn't seem to do anything to prevent the doom that he was certain was coming. Every minute, he grew more desperate.<br /><br />He came to an open space where a crowd had gathered. A man was holding a gun to another, and shouting something about avenging the death of a loved one.<br /><br />He wanted to jump in the middle of the crowd and make them listen. The world was going to end! Couldn't they feel it? But he couldn't even move anymore. He could only watch. He watched like everyone else, as the man with the gun shouted. He watched as he pulled the trigger. He watched as the bullet struck, and the victim fell to the ground. He was sure, like he knew everyone else in the crowd was sure, that the man deserved it.<br /><br />The world started to grow dark. This was it, he knew. And he'd been unable to stop it. It was noon, but the sky had turned gray. Even the sun seemed no brighter than a dim lamp. It wasn't just becoming dark, he realized. The world was turning black. All the colors were fading away into nothingness. And just like in his vision, the message appeared in the sky. Glowing white letters on black. In a language known to no one. Two words that meant the end of the world, the end of life, the end of everything.</em><br /><br />"Okay," I said, shaking him by the shoulder. "You can get up now. It's over."<br /><br />"Hmm?"<br /><br />I pointed at the screen, which now said <em>The End</em> in large bold letters. <br /><br />"Oh. Good. Hope you enjoyed it.<br /><br />"It was nice. You should have watched."<br /><br />"What's to watch? If the bad guy kills the good guy's girlfriend in the beginning of the movie, then in the end, the good guy <em>must</em> kill the bad guy. In between, you throw in a few songs, some fight scenes, and you have a three hour Hindi movie."<br /><br />"Okay, so it was predictable. But it was still a nice movie. They made it pretty well. And there was some good acting."<br /><br />"If you say so."<br /><br />"You know towards the end, in the crowd surrounding the good guy and the bad guy, there was this man..."<br /><br />"What about him?"<br /><br />"I don't know. He didn't seem part of the movie. It was almost as if... as if he was more real than the other characters."<br /><br />"More real? Like he was about to jump out of the screen?"<br /><br />I grinned even though that's exactly what I'd thought. Hearing the words said out loud made the idea seem absurd. "Nah," I replied. "He was probably an extra who was trying to get noticed."<br /><br />On the screen, the <em>The End</em> sign slowly faded away.Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-71852127056031087282007-03-01T00:10:00.000+05:302007-03-01T00:08:06.807+05:30New Look: Ice MountainAs you might have noticed, I've made another update to the template of this blog. This is my fifth Blogger template, the third one for the new Blogger, and the third update on this blog. The image in the background is that of a glacier in Greenland. I got it from <a href="http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:Greenland_Ilulissat-25.jpg">Wikimedia Commons</a>. Image manipulation was done using <a href="http://www.gimp.org/">The GIMP</a> as usual.<br /><br />One of the other templates I created, works on the new Blogger and can be downloaded for free, at <a href="http://cityinpaint.blogspot.com/">City in Paint</a>. It's based on an <a href="http://www.oswd.org/design/information/id/2849/">OSWD design</a>, though I made some minor modifications to the look, and some major modifications to the HTML to get it to work with Blogger.<br /><br />I'll be offering this one for download too, once I complete a few finishing touches.<br /><br />Do let me know what you think about the new look. I'm hoping the (mostly) white background and the bigger text makes it easier on your eyes. The blog should look okay on Firefox, Opera, and IE 6 and 7. If you're among the less than 1% of readers who use a version of IE older than 6, then you might see some weird JavaScript errors. But those are from Blogger, and I can't really do much about them. Of course, if you are still using that ancient browser, you should really consider getting Firefox.Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-77003526849406411772007-02-23T09:15:00.000+05:302007-02-23T09:24:22.154+05:30Bad Solution (55)It was a big asteroid. "Ten percent chance of hitting Earth," they said. "Expected angle of impact is enough to wipe out a country."<br /><br />"We'll use Nuclear weapons!" <br /><br />They aimed. They fired. They miscalculated.<br /><br />The asteroid deflected in the wrong direction, hit Earth head-on, and wiped out all life. Except the cockroaches, of course.Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-73554802306020755372007-02-21T12:30:00.000+05:302007-02-21T12:29:09.198+05:30Animal Rights or Science?Is it acceptable to take animal life or cause harm or pain to an animal, in the interests of science? <br /><br />This isn't a new question, and it's not one that both sides are going to agree on in the near future, if ever. Me, I'm all for science. But I'm not happy with animal rights being violated either. (For the record, I eat meat but don't think I'm a hypocrite for being against fur.)<br /><br />Still, how can you make a decision?<br /><br />Take for example <a href="http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/R/REGROWING_FINGERS?SITE=WIRE&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT">this story</a>. Scientists are apparently trying to figure out how some animals grow back body parts, so that the same technique can be used with humans. If they figure this out, there's <a href="http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20041111.html">no end</a> to the benefits for medicine. 50,000 people <a href="http://www.aboutonehandtyping.com/statistics.html">lose a body part to amputation</a> every year in the US alone. If scientists can make the technology work, all these people could have their fingers, hands, arms, and legs back in a matter of weeks or months.<br /><br />So that's a good thing, right? <br /><br />Not for the animals that have the regenerative abilities.<br /><br />Take for example Salamanders. These animals can apparently grow back an arm if it gets severed. How often must scientists make cuts in a salamander's body to find out what chemicals, enzymes or glands are involved in the regrowth? How often does someone cut off a Salamander's body part to observe what happens? <br /><br />Scientists have got far enough to grow extra arms on salamanders. Does the salamander feel any pain when it is cut, or when it has an extra arm coming out of where there should only be a simple rib? Unless the researchers are extremely careful with anesthetics, there's probably a lot of pain involved for the poor creature. Does the salamander know about the value of the sacrifice it is making? Surely not.<br /><br />A hundred years from now, the number of people who will have benefited from regenerative technologies will probably be close to one billion. There will still be those who demand that researchers stop testing revolutionary medicine on animals. They will still be right. But so will the scientists.Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-3162727300881457072007-02-15T11:35:00.000+05:302007-02-15T11:36:20.625+05:30V-Day or D-Day?<blockquote>He walks like a king through his house. He is master of his domain. He can eat what he wants, drink what he wants, and he can turn on the television and watch whatever he wants. He smiles to himself.<br /><br />"By the power of Grayskull!" he shouts. "I... Have... The Power!"<br /><br />He hears the car in the driveway. His wife is back from shopping. He sighs.<br /><br />It was nice while it lasted.</blockquote><br />We may be called the stronger sex, but really, if there is anything a man is scared of, it's his woman. And if he's not, then he's just ignorant. I'm not kidding. <br /><br />Men don't understand women. Men don't understand what women want. And men can't live without women. It's a recipe for disaster, I tell you.<br /><br />And to ensure that men continue to fear women till the end of eternity, there is this annual ritual they've come up with. It's the most evil of all rituals, and has its origins in medieval times.<br /><br />It's called Valentine's day.<br /><br />You're laughing.<br /><br />Tell me, irrespective of whether he's single or not, which man has it easy on Valentine's day?<br /><br />On Valentine's day, a single guy <em>has</em> to tell <em>some</em> girl that he's interested in her. If he doesn't, then he will be pitied. And the male ego doesn't deal very well with pity. If he does decide to make his feelings known, his fear is that she will say "No". Which is what usually happens, of course. However there is sometimes the unfortunate case where the girl says "Yes".<br /><br />If a guy is not single on Valentine's day, though, then he's in really big trouble, because he has to <em>do something</em> on the <em>special day</em>. <br /><br />For two weeks before the fourteenth of February every year, the media is full of advertisements for Valentine's Special gifts and experiences. A guy may decide that he's not going to give in to the intense commercialization of the day, and he's not actually going to get her anything. If you know such a man, pray for him.<br /><br />If he does decide to get something though, he has to figure out what to get her. <br />If he gets her a bouquet of roses, she's angry because that woman at work whom she hates, got <em>two</em> from <em>her</em> boyfriend.<br />If he gets her a box of chocolates, he's in trouble, because her friend got chocolates <em>and</em> flowers. <br />If he gets her chocolates and flowers, he's cheap, because a girl she knows also got a watch. And a stuffed toy.<br />If he gets her multiple gifts, he doesn't really love her, because he can't take the time to take her out.<br />If he takes her out to a restaurant, he should have taken her out to a restaurant in a five-star hotel.<br />If he takes her out to a restaurant in a five-star hotel, he should have taken her to a resort outside city limits.<br />To actually survive Valentine's day, the guy must pick his woman up from work, fly her to Europe, have dinner on the beach with a live band playing, and give her a diamond ring.<br /><br />But then the guy is done for. Because next year, he'll have to top even that. And unless flights to the moon are available, he'll hear the words "You've changed."Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-3948145065563156002007-02-13T10:40:00.000+05:302007-02-13T04:13:58.329+05:30KGAF Winners AnnouncedThe winners of the Kala Ghoda Art Festival literature contests were <a href="http://www.caferati.com/kgaf/2007/02/12/kala-ghoda-arts-festival-2007-caferati-contests-wrap-up/">announced</a> over the weekend. I never submitted anything because the one idea I had, didn't sound interesting enough by the time I wrote half of it. (Actually it was supposed to be five different ideas but I could only think up the first two, and I only wrote half of the first one)<br /><br />The scores, finalists and winners of the various contests can be found at the following links:<br /><br />Flash Fiction - <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/scores/?contest=ff">Scores</a>, <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/finalists/?contest=ff">Finalists</a>, <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/winners?contest=ff">Winners</a><br /><br />Graphic Flash - <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/scores/?contest=gf">Scores</a>, <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/finalists/?contest=gf">Finalists</a>, <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/winners?contest=gf">Winners</a><br /><br />SMS Poetry - <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/scores/?contest=sms">Scores</a>, <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/finalists/?contest=sms">Finalists</a>, <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/winners?contest=sms">Winners</a><br /><br />Poetry Slam - <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/scores/?contest=ps">Scores</a>, <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/finalists/?contest=ps">Finalists</a>. (See <a href="http://www.caferati.com/kgaf/2007/02/12/kala-ghoda-arts-festival-2007-caferati-contests-wrap-up/">announcement</a> for winners)<br /><br />So do head there and take a look.<br /><br />I'm not too much of a poetry buff but I really liked the SMS Poetry <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/scores/?contest=sms&action=show_entry&entry=76">first prize winner</a>.<br /><br />Among the Graphic Flash entries my favourite was entry # <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/scores/?contest=gf&action=show_entry&entry=335">335</a> (which tied for second place) followed by <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/scores/?contest=gf&action=show_entry&entry=461">461</a> (which ended up first).<br /><br />I've only read the Flash Fiction finalists, and my favourites among them were <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/scores/?contest=ff&action=show_entry&entry=168">168</a>, <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/scores/?contest=ff&action=show_entry&entry=239">239</a>, <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/scores/?contest=ff&action=show_entry&entry=243">243</a>, and <a href="http://www.caferati.com/contests/scores/?contest=ff&action=show_entry&entry=323">323</a>. None of them won, though. So if you liked a story that didn't make it to the finals, do leave a comment here.Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-34338520130437215752007-02-12T12:00:00.000+05:302007-02-08T23:59:50.129+05:30Making Money is Hard WorkThere are a number of people out there who have quit their day jobs to maintain their web-sites full-time. This includes bloggers, like <a href="http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,66679,00.html">Jason Kottke</a> of <a href="http://www.kottke.org/">kottke.org</a>, <a href="http://www.emediawire.com/releases/2006/3/emw352630.htm">Matthew Pullerits</a> of <a href="http://www.cwire.org/">CyberWyre</a>, <a href="http://www.alootechie.com/news_detail.asp?id=1332">Amit Agarwal</a> of <a href="http://labnol.blogspot.com/">Digital Inspiration</a> and popular web-comic writer <a href="http://www.donaldscrankshaw.com/posts/1096631753.shtml">Howard Tayler</a> of <a href="http://www.schlockmercenary.com/">Schlock Mercenary</a>.<br /><br />If someone with the security of a permanent job decides to quit, how do they expect to earn enough? Well, common sources of revenue include <a href="https://www.google.com/adsense">advertising</a>, <a href="http://affiliate-program.amazon.com/gp/associates/join">referrals</a>, <a href="http://store.schlockmercenary.com/">merchandising</a> and in some cases from <a href="http://www.kottke.org/05/02/kottke-micropatron">donations by fans</a>. Of course, to be able to convert blogging into a full-time career, you need to be popular. And if you intend to depend on advertising or referrals to make money, the design of your page is very important. Amit Agarwal has a number of <a href="http://labnol.blogspot.com/2007/01/guy-kawasaki-still-leaving-money-on.html">articles</a> which <a href="http://labnol.blogspot.com/2006/12/most-effective-adsense-layout-for-two.html">show</a> you how to <a href="http://labnol.blogspot.com/2006/11/optimizing-scott-hanselmans-blog-for.html">optimize</a> a blog for advertising, using real blogs as examples.<br /><br />Blogging for a living sounds like such a nice job. No commutation, working from home, and no boss! <br /><br />Well, it's not that easy. If you work for yourself, you do your own taxes, don't have health benefits, and taking a vacation directly impacts your income! And blogging isn't really an easy job. As Amit Agarwal mentioned <a href="http://labnol.blogspot.com/2007/02/how-many-hours-do-you-spend-on-blogging.html">recently</a>, he spends 10-12 hours a day on his blog. And if you take into account the fact that he blogs 7 days a week, that works out to between 70 and 84 hours a week! That's as much as I spend in my job during the most hectic of projects!<br /><br />Like I said - making money seems to be a lot of hard work. So it's back to searching for that dream alternative career for me. The one where I work maybe an hour a day and still earn enough to retire at 40.Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-28644119207505351892007-02-07T11:45:00.000+05:302007-02-07T11:43:50.699+05:30Loony tunesKusum Rohra has sifted through and collected around fifty of the funniest posts in the blogosphere in the second edition of the annual <a href="http://kusumrohra.blogspot.com/2007/02/loony-mela-2.html">Loony Mela</a>. So do head to her blog and check them out.<br /><br />Yes, it will probably take a while to read all of them. Just imagine how much time must have gone into the selection process!Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-1092921634174162622007-02-06T09:25:00.001+05:302009-09-15T14:02:30.009+05:30Gender Questions: Celestial Conversations - XXVIIFirst: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2004/08/celestial-conversation.html">Celestial Conversation</a><br />Previous: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2006/12/merry-christmas-celestial-conversations.html">Merry Christmas: Celestial Conversations - XXVI</a><blockquote><b>Me:</b> Hi!<br /><b>God:</b> Hello.<br /><b>Me:</b> You busy?<br /><b>God:</b> No, I'm relaxing today. Just finished painting my nails.<br /><b>Me:</b> Painting your nails?<br /><b>God:</b> Yes. Why, is there a problem?<br /><b>Me:</b> Not really, but polishing nails just seems like a girly thing to do.<br /><b>God:</b> So?<br /><b>Me:</b> You're a guy!<br /><b>God:</b> Whatever gave you that idea?<br /><b>Me:</b> What?<br /><b>God:</b> I'm one hundred percent female.<br /><b>Me:</b> Really?<br /><b>God:</b> Why is that coming as a surprise?<br /><b>Me:</b> Well, most major religions believe You are male.<br /><b>God:</b> Is that true?<br /><b>Me:</b> I'm pretty sure it is.<br /><b>God:</b> Well that will just not do! Why should religions make any guesses about <em>my</em> gender at all? I'm going to see if something can be done about this.<br /><br />[God has logged out]<br /><br /><em>Grievance room in Heaven:<br /><b>Little Girl:</b> God?<br /><b>God:</b> Yes?<br /><b>Little Girl:</b> Most major religions think I'm male! (starts crying)<br /><b>God:</b> What? Whatever gave you that idea?<br /><b>Little Girl:</b> A man told me while I was chatting on the internet.<br /><b>God:</b> Were you logged in as Me again?<br /><b>Little Girl:</b> (nods between sobs)<br /><b>God:</b> (thinking to himself) Why don't people get their own logins? (to the girl) That's okay. I'm sure the man didn't know what he was talking about.<br /></em></blockquote>Next: <a href="http://rja.blogspot.com/2009/04/of-campaigns-celestial-conversations.html">Of Campaigns: Celestial Conversations - XXVIII</a>Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-76247542595904450792007-02-02T10:40:00.000+05:302007-02-27T05:17:45.182+05:30Freedom, If...<a href="http://indiauncut.blogspot.com/2007/02/mint-in-defence-of-freedom.html">Amit Varma writes</a> that there's a new newspaper out. It's called <a href="http://www.livemint.com/">Mint</a> and the bit he loves about it, is <blockquote>finally, India has a newspaper that explicitly supports the values of freedom, in all its forms, that I hold so dear.</blockquote><br />And this newspaper that "explicitly supports the values of freedom", gives you "free" access to all content on its website, as long as you give up the following information <ul><li>Your first name</li><li>Your last name</li><li>Email address</li><li>Gender</li><li>Country</li><li>City</li><li>Year of Birth</li><li>Educational Background</li><li>Occupation</li><li>Whether you "currently subscribe to print newspaper" (Whatever that means)</li></ul><br />In addition to this, it also <em>requests</em> you for your <ul><li>Mobile Number</li><li>Industry</li><li>Household Income Range</li></ul><br />The reason they ask for all this information is <blockquote>Registering with us signifies your <strong>complete</strong> agreement with our terms and conditions. <em>[Emphasis mine]</em></blockquote><br />These terms and conditions, or terms of use, never actually show up during the registration process, by the way.<br /><br />The "Registration-required" debate, when it comes to news sites, has been going on <a href="http://chnm.gmu.edu/digitalhistory/links/cached/chapter6/6_28a_registration.htm">for</a> <a href="http://www.digitaldeliverance.com/blog/2004/02/how_to_diminish_online_readers.html">years</a> <a href="http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20040212/1351215.shtml">now</a>. As Adrian Holovaty says in <a href="http://www.holovaty.com/blog/archive/2004/07/16/0244">a post</a> on the subject , the news sites seem to be saying <blockquote>The benefit of registration is that you get the content.</blockquote><br />One of the articles that Amit's linked, is titled "What you can expect from Mint." You need to register to read that article too, of course. <br />So in the case of <em>Mint</em>, the benefit of registration is that you get to find out what kind of content you can expect.<br /><br />For a website that Google <a href="http://livepr.raketforskning.com/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.livemint.com">doesn't even know about</a> yet (<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0CtHAlaFt3o8FMD5ZEg_E3GAY2OchGOursq05uS-B7VoR-DEIcssQOBF_xBfWR5WLRHrTyvTOm9rODUZ_pq0xeLS_usjy3jMS8xKwkKgtqSr0NV-eYYgLuNzJM6egnBTgK46FJw/s1600-h/mint-pr.jpg">screenshot</a> for the sake of posterity), I think they're approaching this the wrong way.<br /><br />So basically, if ever I decide that I really want to read something they have there, I'm going to use <a href="http://www.bugmenot.com/view/www.livemint.com">Bugmenot</a>. Otherwise I'll probably Google for the info and get it from somewhere else.Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-84207728943659719132007-02-01T09:20:00.000+05:302007-02-01T09:21:05.803+05:30Borat and Tourism<a href="http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/travel/charlesstarmersmith/jan07/boratboom.htm">This</a> is why I should blog about my opinions on stuff.<br /><br />When I learnt that the Kazakhstan government was <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=404852&in_page_id=1770">protesting</a> against Sacha Baron Cohen's depiction of Kazakhstan in the movie <a href="http://www.boratmovie.com/">Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan</a>, I thought they were ignoring the potential of making it the tourism campaign of the century.<br /><br />What I felt they <em>should</em> have done, was build a fake village on the outskirts of Astana their capital, and call it "Home of Borat" or something. A tour would then take people through this fake village as well as actual tourist-worthy locations.<br /><br />It's all worked out well, though. Borat has triggered <a href="http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/travel/charlesstarmersmith/jan07/boratboom.htm">a tourism boom</a> in Kazakhstan. And realising the benefits, their government is now <a href="http://www.centralasia-southcaucasus.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=75&Itemid=70">changing its stance</a>. A popular Kazakh newspaper has dubbed the movie "The best film of the year"!<br /><br />Well if they do implement my idea, I want royalties.Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214939.post-66350199121527286722007-01-30T05:50:00.000+05:302007-01-30T05:50:34.493+05:30Googlebomb DefusedUntil a few days ago, if you'd Googled for "failure" or "miserable failure", the first result you got would have been the <a href="http://www.whitehouse.gov/president/">US president's page</a> on the White House website. This was accomplished by a technique called <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Google_bomb">Googlebombing</a>, and was <a href="http://googleblog.blogspot.com/2005/09/googlebombing-failure.html">acknowledged</a> by Google as being a vulnerability in their search system. They also did not manually filter these results out in the interest of maintaining the objectivity of their search service.<br /><br />A few days ago though, Google put in place a change that gets around Googlebombing. <blockquote>By improving our analysis of the link structure of the web, Google has begun minimizing the impact of many Googlebombs</blockquote><br />Searching for a Googlebombed term now gets you information about Googlebombing instead. Read <a href="http://googlewebmastercentral.blogspot.com/2007/01/quick-word-about-googlebombs.html">this post</a> on the Google Webmaster Central Blog for more details.Rajesh J Advanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10728053229392465570noreply@blogger.com1