Being social: Celestial Conversations - #32

on Posted by Rajesh J Advani
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First: Celestial Conversation
Previous: What the Devil: Celestial Conversations - #31
Me: Hi!
God: Hello.
Me: So, did You have any luck on Twitter?
God: Yes, a few people finally started following me. So they are all now My prophets.
Me: That's great to hear.
God: I think it was Luci's doing. He promised people a seat in the house where a retired colonel lives.
Me: Retired colonel?
God: Yes, he said that My first 1000 followers will have a seat reserved right next to Heaven. There's only one house next to Our place. A retired colonel lives there. Grumpy old man. Not sure why people would be interested in living with him.
Me: Right. Well, Your new prophets must be happy.
God: I have no idea. They mostly won't speak to Me.
Me: Oh?
God: Yes. Instead, one guy wanted to confess to Me. What do I look like? A priest?
Me: So no one is speaking to You?
God: One guy did, but only to tell Me he thought I am a fake.
Me: So what did You do?
God: Damned him to Hell.
Me: Ah. Anyway, about Your prophets, what do You expect them to do?
God: Spread My word, of course!
Me: What word is that?
God: What do you mean by What word?
Me: I mean, if they go out and spread your word, what is it that they should be saying?
God: Whatever they want, as long as it's My word they're spreading.
Me: But You must have a message for the world.
God: What, like SMS?
Me: Not exactly.
God: I don't have a mobile phone. Do you think getting one will help?
Me: No, I don't think it will help. Unless You are interested in getting a lot of credit cards, personal loans or life insurance.
God: Life insurance? For Me?
Me: I think You need to come up with a message that You want Your prophets to spread.
God: But I don't have any message.
Me: Well, come up with one.
God: Like what?
Me: I don't know, something You want people to know.
God: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
God: So you want Me to tell My prophets to go and tell people things like "There's a sale at Reebok"?
Me: Uh, not exactly.
God: Then?
Me: I can't make up Your messages for You!
God: Why not?
Me: Because then it wouldn't be The Word of God. It would be The Word of Me!
God: Well you're the one who wants Me come up with a message in the first place.
Me: So You don't have any message for the world?
God: No.
Me: And You want Your prophets to spread what?
God: My word.
Me: Okay. I'm glad we got that cleared up.
God: Good. Now I must go and set up a Facebook account.
Me: Right. Facebook has more followers than Buddha.
God: What? I didn't even know Buddha had any followers! I asked him for help setting up a Twitter account, and he said he didn't bother with such futile activity. The liar. I'm going to kill him!
Me: I told You before, it's not that kind of follower.
God: I'm logging off. I have some business to take care of.


dolby said...


Comments saved for later, till then GOD shall wait :-P

Huh.. Even GOD need to enable word verification? I know one thing which is not even near control of GOD!



NotDevil said...

I've explained before. Everything that happens in this universe, is completely out of My control.

dolby said...

and u still claim u r god? Now u better tell whts under ur control as god else i hereby threaten god tht he/she??? (grt confusion) will lose a follower :-P

NotDevil said...

@dolby You threaten Me? You shall go to Hell!

If I wanted to "control" the world, why would I bother to devise the laws of the universe?

Rajesh J Advani said...

@dolby: Since you seem to be a little new here, why not go through the first few Celestial Conversations? Specifically on this topic, see Creation and Job Description

Arun Sundar said...

Lol!! Funny :)

Keep them coming!

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Anonymous said...

Hi just found your blog, havent enjoyed reading something that much for a while.
Love the God conversation posts lol.
Thanks and I will be back again

Rads said...

Where is RJA ?

Who? said...


Me iz jealous that you get to talk with voices in your head!


*Still Amused*

Maria said...

:)) very funny conversation, but also true! :)

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