Inexperienced: Fourth Night

on Posted by Rajesh J Advani
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Intro: Inexperienced
Previous: Third Night

(Episode 4. You're still here, so I'll assume you don't need the "you could be offended" warning.)
"You're going to love me for this."
"I'm supposed to love you no matter what you do. That's what it's about, remember?"
"Well, you're going to love me even more, then."
(tries to look behind him, and suddenly smiles) "Diamonds!"
"Diamonds? No, no. I got a movie!"
"I'm supposed to love you for getting a movie?"
"No, you don't get it! It's an adult movie!"
"An adult movie?"
"Stupid, so we can figure out how to... you know!"
"Oh!"
"Yes!"
"Which movie is it?"
"Basic Instinct. I've heard a lot about it, but never had the guts to get it, before."
"Great! Well then what are you waiting for? Put it on!"

(a few minutes later)

"Do you actually want to watch the whole movie?"
"Not really. Well not tonight, at least."
"Then why don't we fast-forward until the... um... good bits come on?"
"Good idea."

(waiting impatiently)

"I can't believe it. We'll finally figure it out tonight!"
(both look at each other and grin)

(more waiting)

"Hey stop, stop, stop! He's kissing her! Rewind, rewind! Stop, stop, stop! You did too much! It's ok. We can wait for a minute or so."
(both grin again)

"So that's Sharon Stone?"
"I don't think so. I think Sharon Stone is supposed to be blonde. I think there are two women in the movie."
"Two women?"
"Yeah. Lucky guy."
"What?"
"Oh nothing, nothing. I meant... I meant... See he's kissing her!"
"Yes!"
"He's pushing her against the wall. Why is he doing that?"
"I don't know. Maybe he's... What happened? Is it over?"
"I don't know. Maybe the... the interesting part is with Sharon Stone."
"Oh. Ok."

(more waiting)

"Hey, they seem to be dancing. Let's watch this part."
"Ok."
"So that's Sharon Stone?"
"I think so."
"Ok. And that other girl?"
"No idea."
"Sharon Stone looks good, doesn't she?"
"Yes. Quite."

(pause)

"But not as good as you!"
"You learn fast."

"Hey see they're suddenly in the bedroom!"
"Finally... What? What happened? It's over?"

(both stare at screen)

"You know..."
"Yes?"
"I think this DVD is the censored version."
"You mean..."
"Yes."
"So..."

(silence)

"You know, years later when we look back, this is going to seem funny."
"If we ever figure it out, that is."
"Hmm."

"I'm going to give our kids sex education at the age of ten."
"Ten! Anyway. At this rate we'll probably end up having to adopt."
"Maybe they'll learn about it from their friends and tell us."
"True. Let's adopt an older kid, so that we don't have to wait too long."

Next: So Close, Yet So Far

6 comments:

Anwin said...

good ending...or as i think it is the ending

narm said...

This are hilarious- but methinks you're having way more fun writing it :)

Rambler registries said...

i dunno..but i guess guys would not be so naive! but as in one of ur previous comments...looks like u're having more fun writing it.
Its hilarious to read though! Nice write up.

Rajesh J Advani said...

Anwin: Thanks. But hey, is that a subtle way of saying, "Please, for the god's sake! Don't write anymore episodes!" ?

Narm and Rambler Registries: I'm definitely having fun writing it, but I'd hope you were having at least as much fun reading it :)

Rambler Registries: Well, there are guys around who tend to live sheltered lives. They're extremely rare, of course. But they do exist. And when a guy like that meets a similar girl... Well that's just tragedy waiting to happen :)

Kusum Rohra said...

So typical na? Man brings adult movie and woman expects him to bring diamonds :D

Its like men gifting women lingerie, it's actually more of a gift for the man, is't it?

Well, as hilarious as it sounds some kids do know more than parents/elders. I once had to explain to my aunt what a particular form of contraceptive was!! And she was married for 15 years then!

Anshuk Jain said...

I think this was the best post in the series..