Return Of The... King? : Celestial Conversations - XV

First: Celestial Conversation
Previous: House-hunting: Celestial Conversations - XIV

God: Hello?
Me: Hello! And where have you been?
God: Oh, up and around.
Me: Really.
God: Finally found a place to stay, by the way.
Me: Oh, great! So Heaven's back in business, eh?
God: Well, not exactly.
Me: Oh? What's wrong now?
God: See, I'm living in a studio.
Me: What? Heaven's a studio apartment?
God: It's not exactly heaven, right? It's what you people call a stop-gap arrangement. Some place to rest my head till I find more permanent accomodation.
Me: Oh. That way. So everyone's still in Hell?
God: Yes. It's becoming a bit of an embarrassment, really. It seems they can't really hold their drink very well.
Me: Abstinence doesn't help tolerance much, I guess.
God: No, it doesn't.
Me: Hmmm.
God: In fact, Luci's even lodged a complaint.
Me: Luci?
God: Yeah. You know. Luci.
Me: Oh. You mean The D-, I mean, him?
God: Yeah.
Me: Oh. Complaint against whom?
God: David
Me: David?
God: Yeah. Apparently, he challenged Goliath to a wrestling match.
Me: He did?
God: Without his sling.
Me: Oh.
God: Yeah. Luci says he isn't responsible for the health of my people.
Me: Is he okay?
God: He wishes he were dead.
Me: But he is dead.
God: Exactly.
Me: Ah.
God: Yeah. Quite embarrassing. But not as embarrassing as a 90-year-old nurse doing the pole-dance.
Me: 90-year-old nurse? Who?
God: Florence.
Me: Nightingale?
God: Yup.
Me: That can't have been pretty.
God: Interesting choice of words. Anyway. I have to go. Have an appointment with my landlord in a few minutes.
Me: Oh. See you later, then.
God: Yeah. Bye.
Me: Bye.

Next: God's Will? : Celestial Conversations - XVI