Belief: Celestial Conversations - XXI

on Posted by Rajesh J Advani
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First: Celestial Conversation
Previous: Prayers and Art: Celestial Conversations - XX
God: Hello
Me: Hi!
God: So, did you do anything interesting recently?
Me: Oh. I saw The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy.
God: Ah. On Discovery Channel?
Me: No, no! This is a movie, and is based on a radio show and a five-part trilogy by Douglas Adams.
God: Five-part Trilogy?
Me: It's complicated. But it's funny.
God: If you say so.
Me: It's quite nice.
God: So, this Douglas Adams chap.
Me: Yes?
God: Is he any good?
Me: He was, yes. Very good.
God: Was?
Me: He died a few years ago.
God: Oh. May I bless his soul.
Me: Amen.
God: I think I'll try to pick up one his books at the library.
Me: Uh, You might not like his writing all that much.
God: Why? You just said he was very good.
Me: Well he was an atheist.
God: So?
Me: That means he doesn't believe in God.
God: And?
Me: You're God.
God: I happen to be quite aware of that particular fact.
Me: And it doesn't bother You?
God: Why should it bother Me?
Me: Why wouldn't it bother You if someone doesn't believe You exist? In fact, Douglas Adams gave this long lecture once, about how he was convinced that You don't exist.
God: Would it bother you if someone somewhere stood up in the middle of a classroom and tried to convince everyone that you don't exist?
Me: Um... Probably not. In fact, I think I'd find it funny.
God: Same here.
Me: Interesting.
God: I don't have the slightest problem with atheists. They're a very amiable sort. It's the theists that I have trouble with.
Me: Hunh?
God: I'm not kidding.
Me: And why would You say that?
God: Because it's true! Atheists don't go around killing people in your name. Atheists don't blame you for everything that's wrong in the world.
Me: But atheists kill people too.
God: Not any more than theists. But at least they don't say it's for My sake.
Me: Surely, it's not all like that...
God: Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night because a six year old child was praying to you to make his father stop beating him?
Me: Uh...
God: Have you ever had anyone pray to you to make their pain from chemotherapy stop?
Me: Um...
God: Did you know that almost every hitman says a silent prayer for forgiveness right before or after he makes a hit?
Me: Er...
God: Do you know how helpless it can feel to not be able to be able to feed a family of seven, after the father - the only earning member - died after being run over by a truck, all because of the policy of non-interference?
Me: I guess not.
God: It can be quite hard to be Me.
Me: I'm sure I can't imagine how hard.
God: I wish I could do something. But changing one thing today, changes an infinite number of things in the future. Moving a pin from one side of a desk to the other side, means billions of people who will never be born.
Me: I've read about that kind of thing. I believe the chaos theory is all about stuff like that.
God: You people have come up with a theory about chaos?
Me: I guess so.
God: Human beings never cease to amaze me.
Me: Well, it was You who created us.
God: I did no such thing!
Me: So You're still sticking to that story?
God: Story?
Me: That the universe just happened, and that it wasn't Your fault?
God: That's not a story.
Me: Fine.
God: Good. But tell me, what about you?
Me: Me?
God: Yes, you. Do you believe in Me?
Me: Um... er... Oh! Look at the time, will You? I had better go now!
God: Oh, okay. Good night then.
Me: Good night.

Next: Stop! Thief! : Celestial Conversations - XXII

16 comments:

hemlyn said...

Douglas Adams yay! *Clap clap*

Nice one, Rajesh. :)

Manish Bhatt said...

Good one there, thought provoking too, loved it.

Words Worth said...

yay. another conversation. really love them. So, do you have a fixed number of conversations in mind or are you just taking one conversation at a time and seeing where they go? Is there an end?

Gayathri Krish said...

hey
Chk out http://subutalks.blogspot.com an identical discussion abt faith going on there...
This conversation seem to be very insightful

The Man Who Wasnt There said...

And well are you an atheist..too? :) easy question to ask but difficult to answer honestly right?

loverBoy said...

Very thought-provoking, indeed!

Theists go around killing people in God's name? This remainds me of Ridley Scott's Kingdom of Heaven. As you guys know, the movie is about the Crusades. The irony of the war is that both the Christians and the Muslims believe in the same God and yet they fought each other calling it God's war!!

About Jerusalem, all the three religions (Judaism, Christianity and Islam) glorify the same God and consider Jerusalem as a sacred city but thousands have shed blood to control it calling it their own. If the God of Moses, Jesus and Mohammed are same, then why a follower of any of these men should claim the city as theirs?

The key to all this chaos lays in tolerance. Tolerance to people of other faiths and culture. The need of the hour is for us to understand that none of the culture, religion, caste, creed, color or language is superior. It is now for us to appreciate diversity.

May God help us in realising this and making this world a place to live...

stiletto said...

thought provoking, insightful - everyone's said it all before. too bad, i will say it again! :)

very nice and thought provoking, RJA :)

Sid said...

A very thoughtful perspective. Nice read rja. keep on writing

Rajesh J Advani said...

a-hem: Thank you :) And nice to see you back :)

Manish: Thanks! Glad you liked it :)

Words Worth: Thanks for the words :) No, I don't have a specific number in mind. I'm writing them like a soap opera. :D If people keep reading, I'll keep writing. If the TRPs drop, God will go into retirement :) I do want to change away from roman numerals before I reach Episode 30, though. "Celestial Conversations XXX" has a weird ring to it...

Gayathri Krish: Insightful indeed :)

Girish...!: Am I an atheist? :) I'll have to think about that :) You're right. It's definitely much easier to ask that question than to answer it!

Loverboy: If everyone was actually tolerant of other religions, we'd have a much better world here. Of course, as it is, it's only a minority of the people in any religion that are responsible for all the fighting. Most people are too busy with their own lives to care what God their neighbours pray to. No?

Stiletto: You may say it as often as you wish to :) And thanks for saying it :D

Sid: Thank you!

I must say though, that thought-provoking is not what I had in mind when I wrote the post :) But it's still nice that it turned out that way :)

TII said...

Hey, u watched HHGG?? How was it? Even if it manages to retain 50% of the humour it must be amazing!

Rajesh J Advani said...

TII: To tell you the truth, I went into the theatre thinking I was going to come back out with the whole book destroyed for me, but since DNA himself worked on the movie till he passed away, and has credits for being one of the Executive Producers and one of the screenplay writers for the movie, it's not bad at all. It starts out looking a little weird (the first fifteen minutes must have been filmed in the early nineties on a low budget...), but you actually begin to enjoy it as the movie progresses.

Of course they don't have everything from the book, but then what they have included is executed well. And maybe I've forgotten parts of the book, but I believe there were some original bits too. So, yes, if you've read H2G2, do try to catch it on the big screen.

SmartOxymoron said...

No posts for such a long time(or me not reading anything for such a long time, which is much the same thing... will explain the metaphysics later), and then this huge treat! *Two* conversations with The One. Most uplifting :)

Swathi said...

it is at times like this i hate being in India - i dunno after how many yrs this movie wud b released in India.**sigh**
am anxious to see of all ppl -Marvin on celluloid :))

that dialogue was entertaining as well as thot provoking.

Skylark said...

Nice one Rajesh..

And nice escape at the end..

Wish ppl realise what ur post mean...

Rajesh J Advani said...

SmartOxyMoron: It's always heartening that people are interested in my yakking with the Almighty :) And I thought everyone had these conversations! Thank you for the words!

Swathi: I'd been worried that they wouldn't do justice to it, but it was surprisingly very nice :) And thanks for the kind words!

skylark: Thank you! I hope people realise what my posts mean too, because I certainly don't! ;)

Skylark said...

Hi Rajesh,

Jus finished ur celestial conversations... Its good man...

It seems u feel isolated many a times and found a good friend in the name of GOD.

But really many meaningful questions, which are really helpful for ppl to come out of stress coz someone is working on their problems too...

Good going buddy..