My joy was short-lived, though. She dumped me for Elmo soon after. I guess it's hard for a 26-year-old guy in a suit to compete with a red furry monster with a girl's voice. *sigh*
(Observation for the day: If you have a cup of hot - and I mean scalding hot - soup in your hand, and the cup contains a stirrer that you put in it to keep the instant soup mix from settling to the bottom of the cup, try to remember that the stirrer is not a thin straw, even though it functions pretty well as one. Because that's not why you put it there. And scalding hot liquid rushing through a thin plastic cylinder to the middle of your tongue... I think you get the idea.
Do you think it's okay to put burn ointment on your tongue?
Ppppppppffffffttt. Yuck. I think not.)