Mob Storms Condom Company

Reuter: A mob carrying placards saying 'Off With Condoms' and 'We Don't Need No Rubber' stormed the offices of Durex at J. N. Nagar yesterday. The protesters claimed that by selling condoms the multinational company was encouraging people to fornicate.

"Why would you need condoms unless you wanted to have sex outside the confines of marriage?" said one man. "This is all part of a master plan to bring the dirty western culture to our country and to corrupt our youth!" Another protester suggested that western condom companies were paying movie and sports stars to promote immoral behaviour.

Shouting slogans of "Let's burn that rubber!", the mob tore down the gates of the Durex building, smashed windows and beat up security personnel.

In an unrelated incident, a transport truck carrying five thousand condoms was reported stolen from the Durex building on the same day.

This hasn't happened yet, to my knowledge. But it doesn't seem too far off, does it?